What is it with the massage approach? It’s far too common, and not just with famous men. I’m beginning to think there’s some instruction manual I’m unaware of – something like, “How to get your hands on someone you barely know by pretending it’s innocuous.” Does anyone think that asking someone for a massage or starting to rub someone is acceptable outside an established relationship? It’s not.
What’s obvious is that Weinstein had a script. If you read the women’s account (and you should read it) they all follow familiar paths. It was rote. He went with massage, exposing himself or outright force – all the while threatening their futures. And my heart breaks for these young women.
But Weinstein’s behavior is familiar, and not just among the rich and famous – altho, Oh boy!, there’s sure a lot of rich and famous men who obviously act this way. This sort of behavior exists no matter how much fame or money you have. In our society, across every socioeconomic level, across political views, religions, region, etc., far too many men tend to behave this way – to varying degrees. And yes, inappropriate comments are part of this. None of this is new. What’s different is that a few of these men are being punished (sorta? Not really) for their behavior.
There’s not any difference between Weinstein and a supervisor at work threatening your job. Nor is there any difference between Cosby and drink-spiker at the bar or college party. Or Chris Brown/Sean Connery and the guy who’s beating his wife/girlfriend over ‘dinner not being ready’ or supposedly ‘looking at another man’. Like I said, across the board. Which makes our outrage? astonishment? disbelief? over Weinstein almost laughable. Are we blind?
What I have learned is that there’s a outrageously large number of women who have to come forward before anything happens. Why is that? Weinstein’s behavior was known – there are comedy skits about it. Just the price of doing business?
As more and more of this behavior becomes public, I have to wonder… is Trump (who’s been accused of every version of sexual assault) really an outlier?
#Irefusetosayit – and if you need it said then you just might be part of the problem.